You are attractive

Here is another complaint/observation I have about one of the messed up trends in our society: we don't give out compliments. Not enough. How many times do you hear that you are attractive, smart, witty, fun, charismatic, supportive, whatever? And who do you hear those compliments from? Our parents are good for some compliments, especially when we were younger. But who now? Certainly our significant others. But I have noticed that we don't seem to compliment our friends, acquaintances, or complete strangers enough.

Is it because we don't think that they will accept/appreciate the compliment? Is it because we think that only those that really know and care deeply for a person should give out those compliments? Do we not say it for fear that it will make the target of the compliment feel awkward? Seriously, just because I say that someone is attractive or fun to be around, that doesn't mean that I have to want to have sex with that person or that I am in love with him/her. {yeah, and that him/her thing should a whole other blog. I am all for a 3rd person singular gender neutral pronoun, dammit!} Or, do we not pay compliments because they have come to be full of insincerity? And maybe that is why so many people have a problem accepting compliments. High correlation? I think so. Cause & effect? Maybe, but if so, which way? How can you believe in a compliment if so many are just ice cream cones? {something sweet that melts in 5 minutes; something just to make you happy} Or, why would you spend the time & effort to pay someone a compliment if they are just going to roll their eyes at you and reply with an insincere thank you.

So, if these are problems with where our society has gone, and I think they are, how do we fix this? First off, pay someone a compliment. And do it right: stop, look them in the eyes, and say it slowly. A compliment is something that you should enjoy saying, something that you just feel you cannot keep to yourself. Second, smile and thank the next person who pays you a compliment. Just accept that, even if you don't believe it yourself yet, the compliment is something that they see and believe in you.

-A